彼とは数時間の壮絶な旅をした。。。。「命」その言霊が今でも僕を悩ます。。。。

そうあの日から。。。。

夕方に下山した僕の足は

かなりボロボロになってて

トラックから降りた場所にたたずむしかなかった

まぁすぐに次のトラックが通って荷台に揺られ

レーの街に帰れるって高をくくっていた。。。

水も食料も持ってなく絵に描いた様な馬鹿な旅人だったなぁ。

危機感が全く無くて、あくまで楽観的に振る舞っていたけど

夜が近づいてくるとやはり少しずつ不安に。。。。

ウトウトしていて少し肌寒くなって目が覚めたその時！！

目に飛び込んできたのは星・星・星・☆　

星座が分らないほどの満天の星空☆

確かに腹は減って喉は乾き切っていたけどその光景の衝撃は

それをも上回る出来事だった。

また狂った笑い泣いたそして朝を迎えた。。。。

だけどいくら待っても車は通らず

遠くにいるヤクを眺めやり過ごしていた

いい加減に先に歩を進めようと

きっと街があるのではの方向に

痛い足を引きずるように歩きだしたんだ

そして数時間。。。。

やっと一台のトラックに拾われた

そのトラックは10トンクラスの大型のトラック

荷台には大きな岩が6〜8個ほど積まれていた

その荷台に上がると小僧さんが二人ニコニコして迎えてくれた

なんか久々に人と会ったような妙な安堵感を覚えている

「ジュレー(チベット語での挨拶)」と言葉を交わし

英語も通じないしチベット語も分らない(^^;;

お互いニコニコしてるしかない　だけどそれが心地よかった

トラックのエンジン音と大音量のヒンズー音楽

そして風の音が耳をつんざく。。。。

運転手から水をもらい小僧さんからはソバガキに似た？

食べ物をもらい少しだけ胃の中を満たしたんだ

ありがとう、ありがとう、ありがとう。。。。

その荷台の岩にしがみつき揺られながら眠たくなったり

万年雪？氷河？の中をぐんぐんとトラックは進んで行く

片側は断崖絶壁でそれをドキドキしながら時にはウトウトと

そして、その出来事はいきなり起こったんだ

「ガタン！！」トラックは下り坂で

ちょっとした大きな石に乗り上げたのか

その衝撃で目が覚めた。。。。

僕の左目の端で何かが動いた気がした。

そして左隣の小僧さんに目をやると。。。。

いない！いない！いない！

いない！

僕は状況が把握出来ずトラックは進んでいく

そして分った。。。。

小僧さんが掴まっていた岩も無かった

最悪な事態だった。。。。。

トラックの屋根を叩き叫んだけど

運転手は気づかずそのままガンガンに走っていく

トラックの左側は１mもなく断崖絶壁。。。。

きっと岩と一緒に。。。。

どうしようも出来なかった

僕の後ろにいた小僧さんは！

振り返ると

彼は両ヒジで岩をはさみ掴まり

合掌している

涙が溢れ出している

それを見て愕然とした

やっぱり。。。。

泣いた

泣いた

泣いた

彼はきっとまだ8〜10才くらいだった

本当に子供なんだよ

きっと親も兄弟もいて

もしかしてこれから家に帰れる途中だったかもしれない

家からお寺に戻る道中だったかも。。。。

僕らは言葉を交わせずに

また星が瞬き始めた頃に街に着いた

小僧さんのヒジは血だらけだった。。。。

その夜宿に戻り

眼下からの望める天の川を眺めながら

泣いたよ　泣いたよ　泣いたよ

もしかして僕が彼の場所にいたら

僕はきっとここには在ないだろう

「命」ってこんなにも突然にこの世を去っていくのか

「命」って一体なんだろうって

「命」　　　その言霊が僕を悩ます。。。。

方や病院の集中治療室の中で

最善の策を取りながらも消えてく「命」

方や原爆一発で14万人近くの「命」がこの世から葬り去られたり

方や愛する人に抱かれ「命」を全うできたり

未だに分らない「命」って。。。。

今日は終戦記念日だよね

あらためて「命」の在り方を考えてみよう

そして僕らはしっかりと生きていこう

その戦争で亡くなった方々の犠牲の上に

僕らの「生」があるという事に感謝してさ

しっかりとそれを理解して感じて「命」を大切にしていこうね。

自分を「愛」せない人は人を「愛」せないって言う

「命」を慈しみ、手放しで「愛」してあげようね

「命」在る僕らは、次の「命」を育む環境を作っていかないとね

大切な事って何？　　「命」あっての何とかでしょう。

歴史の繰り返しはもう止めてもいいよ。

確かなことは、人が人の手にかかり死んでいく悲しさ、悲惨さ、

人は人を殺すために生まれてはこない

まして人に殺されるために生まれてくることなんて。。。。

手と手を取り合って宗教や文化を

理解して人としての理解・見解を広げていこう。

傷つけあうのはもうたくさんだよね。

彼が身を挺して教えてくれた事。。。。。

「命」

「命」

「命」

...

彼とは次の日に街中でバッタリと出会った

ちょっと険しい顔にはなっていたけど

まだ子供なんだよ

今ではきっと立派なお坊さんになってるのかな

一緒にあの出来事を振り返ってみたい

「ジュレー」

...

I had a few hours' fierce journey with him.

'Life' This power of word still perplexes me .. Since that day..

My feet became worn out after going down the mountain that evening.

I could do nothing but stand at where I dropped off a truck. I downgraded that a next truck would come soon and pick me up in a box and take me to the town of Leh.

I was such a classic silly traveller without any water nor food, having no sense of crisis.. I acted consistently as if I had been positive, but gradually I became anxious as night went on.

When I was about to fall asleep but woke up because of chilly air, I noticed… Stars, stars and more stars!! I just saw millions of stars in the star-filled night sky. I could not figure out any constellations but stars! Although I was hungry and thirsty, the impact of the sight exceeded more than anything at that time.

I laughed and cried again crazily, and then the morning came..

However long time I waited, I could not find any cars. I just spent time gazing absently into yaks in the distance. But finally I began to walk along with dragging sore feet to the direction, where I thought there might be a town, as I thought it's time to bend further steps.

And a few hours later… I was finally picked up by one truck, which was a large-size ten ton truck. On the truck box 6-8 big rocks were loaded. When I climbed up the box, two young Buddhist monks smiled me a welcome. I was in a strange way relieved as if I had not seen anyone for a long time.

'Julay' We exchanged greetings with a Tibetan greeting. They could not understand English nor I could speak Tibetan. We had no choice but to smile, which was so comfortable to me.

I just heard the engine noise and a loud Hindu music. And a deafening sound of wind…

The driver gave me some water and young monks gave me some food, and I could fill up my stomach a little. Thank you, thank you, thank you…

We clung on to the rocks, sometimes feeling sleepy, while the truck went on among perennial snow. The other side of the road was cliff.. I felt nervous but sometimes so sleepy..

And then the accident happened suddenly!

By a big clack sound I was awakened. The truck seemed to mount over a big rock or something. I felt like something moving by seeing from the corner of my left eye. And I looked at the left side and found out one of the young monks had gone! He's gone! He's gone! He's gone!

He was not there!

I could not realize what had happen but the truck still went on. And finally I realized. The rock a young monk clinging on to was not there. The worst thing happened..

I kept crying for help with beating the roof of the truck but the driver didn't notice it and the truck went on rolling through.

The left side of the truck there was only cliff, with no one meter wide left. So he must have got thrown out with the rock…

There was nothing I could do.

Another monk behind me!

I turned around and found out

that he clung on to a rock with his elbows while his hands clasping in prayer. Tears filled his eyes. I was stunned at the sight.

I didn't want to believe it but it was a true…

I cried.

I cried.

And I cried.

He must have been 8-10 years old.

He was really a small child.

I was sure he had parents and any brothers and sisters, and he might have come back home after this trip, or he might have been on the way to the temple from home.

Without any words exchanged, we arrived at a town when stars began to twinkle again. I saw the monk's elbows covered with blood.

At that night after returning to the inn, I cried and cried and cried while gazing into the Milky Way below.

If I had been at his place I would never have been here for sure.

How suddenly does a life depart this world ? What is a life?

The power of word of Life perplexes me…

On the other hand, Life flickers out in intensive units while been treated with the best care.

On the other hand, almost 140,000 people's life were killed at the same time by an atomic bomb.

And on the other hand, people can live out his or her life in the arms of lived ones.

I still can't understand what life means..

Today is a war-end anniversary, isn't it?

Let us rethink the way life works. And let us live firmly. We are living on many people's ultimate sacrifices. Let us keep an attitude of gratitude to our life. And let's esteem our life highly by understanding and appreciating how it is important and rare to have it. Some say people who can't love themself can never love others. Let us cherish life and give unconditional love. We, as we have life now, have responsibility to create an atmosphere favorable for the next life nurtured. What is the important thing? Where there is life, you know..

It is time to stop the repetition of history. One thing is for sure. No men was born to kill any other men. And no one was born to be killed by any other men. There is only sorrow and misery left there.

Let us develop understandings and cultivate a broad view of religions and cultures, going hand in hand together as human beings. We should no longer hurt each other. What he taught me with his life was… Life Life Life

Next day I happened to see him in the town. He had a grimmer look on his face but he was still a child. I wonder he became a good monk now. I feel like looking back on the incident with him.

'Julay'

...